The Bisheff Blog
Analyzing and commenting on what's hot in sports

The Scott Boras Phone Call That Could Happen

(This is an imaginary phone call, but one that could very well happen sometime soon, if it hasn’t happened already. The caller is Jered Weaver, Angels’ pitcher. It is placed to Scott Boras, Weaver’s agent.)

“Hello, Scott? It’s me, Jered.”

“Hey, Jered. What’s up?”

“Actually, I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year, and I also was wondering if you’re going to help make 2011 a happy year for me.”

“Very funny, Jered. I presume you’re referring to getting Adrian Beltre signed with the Angels.”

“Duh! What else would I be referring to. Look, I know he’s your client like I am and you’re trying to get him the best deal possible. But come on, he fits better on our club than he does anywhere else. He’d hit fourth or fifth for us, give us the power we need in the middle of the order and he plays tremendous defense. He even still owns a home somewhere in the L.A. area. It should be a slam dunk, shouldn’t it?”

“You know me better than that, Jered. It’s never a slam dunk with me.”

“Yeah, I know, you have a reputation to uphold and all that. But I’m your client, too, Scott. You sit right behind home plate at all our games. You saw how many times our awful offense cost me a win. I would have won 18 or 20 games with a little better support. I might have been a serious Cy Young candidate. Instead, I finish with a 3.01 ERA, 233 strikeouts and only 13 wins. If we don’t get more runs, it is going to hurt my future earning potential and yours, as well.”

“I know, I know, Jered. But right now Adrian has to be my priority. The Angels are offering him $70 million for five years. I’m trying to get him $90 million. That’s a big difference, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, that’s a lot of money. But I’ve been reading the internet — our local papers have been lousy covering this story — and I don’t see any other teams that will pay him $90 million.”

“You know that, and I know that, but does Tony Reagins know that?”

“Come on, Scott. I know Tony isn’t the most experienced GM out there, but he reads, too. Besides, isn’t this more about Arte and you than it is Tony?”

“Maybe. Arte Moreno has taken a tough stand with me ever since he lost Mark Teixeira. I have nothing against Arte, but business is business.”

“I thought for sure we were a lock to get Carl Crawford. What happened there?”

“What happened? Jayson Werth signs with Washington for $126 million, and then Arte turns around and makes his first offer to Crawford $108 million. That’s an insult, even though I know it’s a lot of money. But everyone knows Crawford is a much better player than Werth. Once Jayson got 126 mil, you knew Crawford was going to get 10 or 15 mil more.”

“Guess the Angels didn’t know it, huh? I’m beginning to wonder if we’re ever going to land a big name free agent again. That’s why it’s so important for us to get Beltre.”

“Look at it this way, Jered: If Beltre doesn’t sign with you guys, you’ll be a free agent yourself soon. Then you can sign with some team like Texas or Boston that provides plenty of run support.”

“Yeah, but I’m a Southern California guy, Scott. I love it out here. I like Mike Scioscia, I like pitching in front of friends and family. We get a Beltre, then in another year or so this kid Trout will be ready and we might be as good as anyone, you know?”

“That’s probably a bit of a stretch, but I see your point. Look, between you and me, the Angels are probably going to end up with Beltre. It’s just a matter of how much I can get them to pay.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve heard that one before. All I know is I can’t relax and enjoy myself New Year’s Eve until I know we’re going to be better than we were with that limp noodle of an excuse for a line up a year ago. Even with Kendry Morales coming back, we need more help. If we don’t get it, everyone we play will pitch around Morales. You know that. I’m telling you, Scott, you got to do this for me.”

“Look, Jered, try to have some fun on New Year’s and don’t worry.”

“I wish I could be like you. You get your percentage of the guy’s contract no matter where he signs.”

“Come on, Jered. Relax. You know me.”

“That’s the trouble, Scott. I do know you. That’s why I’m so worried.”

“Well, do me a favor, Jered. Try to have a happy new year, anyway.”

“Yeah, right. That’s easy for you to say. I’ll be waiting, Scott. How happy my new year is depends on you.”

“Uh, I think I have another call. Goodbye, Jered. Talk to you soon.”

— STEVE BISHEFF

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5 Responses to “The Scott Boras Phone Call That Could Happen”

  1. Very funny and true – Beltre a must now for Angels…Love the part about the Dugout Seats you always see Boros in on TV games behind Home Plate! But the part you left out was Boros’s big grin and giggle when Weaver mentioned Trout — If he is great then he’ll probably be a Boros Client (if he isn’t already) and the calls from Jared will start again!! Happy New Year Steve!!

  2. This blog is a Steve Bisheff classic. Thanks Steve and Happy New Year to you and Marsha!

  3. You were way too easy on Reagins in your imaginary call. If you could really elicit an opinion from Weaver, it would probably be closer to mine. Steve-you need to shed some light on the college bowl situation and why the NCAA prefers this system to a play off. The Rose Bowl needs a sponsor?

  4. Wow, your reading my mind. This is a Bisheff classic. Also agree, you are way to easy on Regins. Your ability to nail it, continues to amaze, especially with the Angels. Genius. Lets hope Arte and company read it.As it stands the Angels are a franchise with no hope, no star power and no Third baseman not to mention left fielder.

  5. Thanks for the call. I know I’m late on this but I’M BACK as far as your blog. Anyway once again you hit the ball on the big part of the bat and I sure agree with those other comments, too. Keep up the good work. I enjoy it. Happy New Year


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